About your Search

20121101
20121130
Search Results 0 to 19 of about 20 (some duplicates have been removed)
'll be rescued by private-sector volunteers like paul ryan who will personally come to your devastated town and wash your already-clean pots. (laughter) we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, thank you so much! folks, you know, when a disaster like hurricane sandy strikes, people are in desperate need of any kind of comfort and in this increasingly secular and cynical age too often our communities and churches can't provide it. thankfully in times of trial we always have donald trump's twitter feed. (laughter) you may recall last week when trump made this generous offer. >> if barack obama opens up and gives his college records and applications and if he gives his passport applications and recordsly give to a charity of his choice a check immediately for $5 million. one caveat. the records must be given by october 31 at 5:00 in the afternoon. >> stephen: now that heartwarming act of extortion got lost in the massive human tragedy of this storm. and trump is no monster, folks, he knows people are suffering too much right now to pay attention to his ho
the beginning, andrew. check the tape. >> we will have to check the tape. but no, paul ryan was the way in which he persuaded the republican base that he's one of them. i mean he had the republican base. he did not lose this election because he wasn't conservative enough. he lost the moderates in the middle in places like ohio, in places like florida where he just couldn't afford to. and i think it's a triumph of an actual campaign against pure cynicism and lies. and i think that is a huge victory for the american people, i really do. ( crowd cheering ) >> stephen: thank you so much for joining me. >> thank you. >> stephen: please come again. >> will do. >> stephen: and please tell your liberal friends i will see them in hell. andrew sullivan. p@2? >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. ( crowd cheering ) you know, in addition to the presidential race, tonight the leadership of congress could change hands. or in the case of senate minority leader mitch mcconnell, amphibious flippers. they only need to pick up four seats and they'll seize control. with that in mind, let's take a look at some of the
. for the republicans, their top favorites mike huckabee, chris christie, marco rubio, paul ryan. >> stephen: yes, 2016 is on! (laughter) which means any moment now arizona should be finished counting their 2012 ballots. (laughter) now, folks, i've got to tell you, this 2016 thing is really pre-heating up. but i say why stop at 2016? (laughter) i need to know the early favorites for 2020. (cheers and applause) how is chelsea clinton stacking up against tag romney? (laughter) more importantly, will tag be able to ward off a last-ditch challenge by mitt romney? (laughter) oh, he's running. and as america's premier news reader, it's my duty to stay way way ahead of these races. that's why tonight i am proud to launch my coverage of election: 2072, race to the white or. (cheers and applause) brought to you by virtual olive garden. (laughter) when you're technically not here you're family. (laughter) now, so far, in 2072 looks like it's going to be a matchup between robocheney versus a swarm of sentient nano hornets. those nano hornets are going to be tough to beat, folks, because i hear this weekend they w
album called love this giant. it's a fan letter to chris christie. a new report says that paul ryan likes to shoot deer with handguns. and when he finds out who leaked that to the media that deer is going to get it. this is "the colbert report." (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcomed to report, everybody! thank you, ladies and gentlemen. stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen slarm stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) nation, thank you so much. i am so happy you're all here with me in the wake of hurricane sandy. countedless people are still struggling. and before we go on i would like to address the millions in the tristate area without power. and i'm going to talk a little louder right now because i know their tvs aren't working. (laughter) power challenged nation, please put down the peanut butter are you licking out of your mousetrap and just listen up for a minute. i want to you hang in there. the national guard is assisting the jersey shore. governor chris christ
between joe biden and paul ryan in danville, kentucky. the whoop-ass in the blue grass, the bare-knucky in kentucky. [ laughter ] now, i haven't seen it yet. nor will i ever. it's a vice presidential debate. [ laughter ] but for the record, i'm betting -- i know what who is going to win because the key to winning one of these debates is to lower expectations about your speaking skills. and biden's been doing that for four years. [ laughter ] plus he's gonna win. because the liberal media fix is in. >> critics raising concerns about the moderator in tomorrow's vice-presidential clear political bias. it turns out president obama attended abc correspondent martha raddatz first wedding back in 1991. this thing goes deep, folks. [ laughter ] 21 years ago barack obama attended debate moderator. martha raddatz's wedding. who knows what favors were exchanged with an eye toward the inevitable future debate. they all knew it was coming. he knew that. panini press would pay off eventually for the running mate he hadn't met yet. [ laughter ] >> stephen: for twenty years, every time she's mad
Search Results 0 to 19 of about 20 (some duplicates have been removed)